Keep Going: A Real Conversation About Depression and Suicidality

Dylan Gillis, MS, PCC-S
May 21
4 min read

In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, I want to bring attention to an area that millions struggle with: depression and suicidality. These are difficult topics to understand—ones we often shy away from. But we shouldn’t.

I believe a major reason is stigma; another is the discomfort these topics cause. It’s hard to truly grasp unless someone has opened up about it or you’ve experienced it yourself. I feel the need to address this for two reasons: for those struggling with depression and suicidality, and for those who may be able to help someone going through it—whether apparent or not.

One way to look at depression is as a deficiency of certain chemicals—like serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine—in the body. This imbalance can lead to the various symptoms and levels of severity associated with the disorder.

The reasons that cause depression can be situational (stress, grief, loss, trauma, etc.) or biological (the chemical side that the body can't quite get right). That is easier to explain.

But what does depression feel like?

Think of deep sadness… that is right around where depression begins.

People often describe it like this:

"It’s like being stuck in a dark hole I can’t climb out of."
"I smile in front of people, but inside I feel empty."
"It’s like feeling numb. Not sad—just nothing."
"Everything feels pointless, like nothing I do matters."
"My brain won’t stop telling me I’m worthless."

Here are some statistics about depression prevalence:

18.4% of U.S. adults have been diagnosed with depression at some point in their lives.
18.6% of young adults (ages 18–25) had the highest rate of depression.
15.2% of teens (ages 12–17) experienced at least one major depressive episode.
61% of adults with depression received treatment in 2021.
74.8% of those with severe impairment sought treatment.

And here are some examples of what depression can look like:

A coach tells you they see something special in you, but the negative voices in your head overshadow their words.

Your child says you’re the best mom in the world, but you feel like the worst because all you want to do is stay in bed.

You make a mistake and feel like everyone thinks you're a failure.

Your teachers encourage you to do your work, but you don’t see the point—what will it change?

You’re playing with your child and they’re laughing, smiling. It’s a heartwarming moment... and yet you feel empty. You want to feel something. Anything! Your eyes well up... and they ask, “Daddy, what’s wrong?”

That’s heavy, isn’t it?

I know it’s uncomfortable to think about. Depression is difficult to explain, difficult to talk about, and it’s a nightmare to endure. You’d do anything to change how you feel—anything.

That’s where suicidality can creep in.

If it’s difficult to understand, that’s good—it means you’ve never been there. But I encourage you to consider some facts:

Some estimates of suicidal thoughts:

15.1% of teens reported serious thoughts of suicide in the past year.
11.3% of young adults (18–25) reported suicidal thoughts.
5.5% of adults aged 26–49.
2.3% of adults aged 50 and over.
Roughly 10–20% of people experience suicidal thoughts at some point in their life.

Suicidality isn’t always a dramatic cry for help.

Sometimes, it’s a quiet, hopeless whisper: “I just want to go to sleep and not wake up for a week.”

It can be as bold—and just as quiet—as: “I can’t deal with these feelings anymore, and I want to end my life.”

The tunnel of depression can feel long. It can be dark, agonizing—but I swear to you, it has an end. That tunnel has ups and downs, bends, obstacles, and pitfalls. Because it’s not a simple path, you may not see the end—but it’s there. Sometimes, you’ll have to drag yourself, dig, or crawl to get there. You can do it. Just keep going. Sometimes the light is only a moment away—it’s just around the bend that you can’t see because it’s so dark.

KEEP GOING.

When you're in that darkness, you need all the support you can get. Those who have been there know how hard it is to feel that heaviness every single day. Just swinging your feet off the bed can be a triumph. Keep pushing forward.

When it feels like no one cares, remember:

Your family and friends do care. They love you. They want you to make it through.

The millions who struggle with depression—complete strangers—are rooting for you.

I don’t know you, and I care. I want you to make it through.

I promise you—it’s temporary. That bottomless pit is temporary. If the reason is situational, time will pass and the heaviness will lift. If it’s chemical, balance can return. In those moments of deep emotion, it’s important to know what can make those episodes less intense and shorter:

Do things you love, even if you don’t want to.
Move your body, even if it feels impossible.
Talk to a member of your support system, even when it’s hard.
Don’t self-medicate, even though it’s painful.
Try not to sleep too much, even if you’re exhausted.
Talk to a professional, even if it feels uncomfortable.
And most importantly: don’t make emotional decisions when you're in an emotional state—reach out for support.

Making it out of that darkness and seeing the sun again—it’s real. You can believe your coach when he says you’re special. When your daughter says, “You’re the best mom,” you’ll know she means it, and that’s all that matters. When you make a mistake, you’ll remind yourself that everyone does—and people will forgive you. You’ll get your grades up, and start believing in yourself. You’ll be playing baseball with your son, and feel real joy and happiness.

That’s reality.

You just have to keep going.